Virgin Queen

Handing out the countries was easy; I ended up with England, tasked with spreading naval expertise and socialist redistribution of treasure. Around the table we had Ottomans, French, Protestants, Spaniards, and Habsburgs, and it became clear very early that each of us was playing our own slightly absurd European drama. First card, first die roll, and the Sultan built Suez — something that normally ought to have cost him quite a few resources. The Spaniard, understandably, was not thrilled by the prospect of Barbary pirates arriving.

The game moves through cards and dice, but what matters is that the powers are pulling in completely different directions. The Protestants spread and threaten religiously, Spain accumulates things if you leave it alone, England looks for piracy, naval adventures, and military opportunities, while the others get tangled up in marriages, colonies, diplomacy, and whatever else the cards bring them. In practice, each round can shift the game’s tone abruptly: the second gave us piracy and naval battles near Gibraltar, the Queen of Scots narrowly escaping an unfortunate death in childbirth, and Elizabeth marrying the lowly French king and sending quite a few people down the drain.

Interaction is not decorative; everyone watches what the others are preparing, and when someone approaches victory, a way has to be found to stop them. In the third round, the Protestants were threatening a religious victory, Spain was simultaneously trying to preserve Catholicism and contain the Ottomans, and I was preparing a landing in the Netherlands for an immediate military threat. The response came at the last moment, through crazy card play, treasure, and the right die roll to make the barefoot Irish revolt. And while we were all sending diplomatic notes to Prague about its inaction against the Ottomans, the Habsburgs were building their own second Renaissance with painters, writers, and scientists. In the end, in round four, England and Spain both passed 25 points — me through piracy and circumnavigation, them through keys — only to lose on the final card to the Protestant, who reached 50 regions. Brutal, but fair.

For me, it was tiring, especially because I was looking up most of the rules questions while England did not have a particularly active role. But it was also extremely satisfying: a full, noisy story in which marriages, pirates, revolts, and last cards can demolish every certainty. Provided the group can handle the intensity and accepts that someone will need to open the rulebook often.